I hate Airplanes.

Well, safe and sound in Regina now. I hate airplanes now - they had a certain je ne sais quoi ten years ago but now they are just sweaty, disgusting cattle transport. I hate them. I hate sitting next to fat, bloated dumbasses. I hate watching people waddle through life with a blank, lifeless pacifity about them. And, I hate all the stupid little rules that are only there to keep the masses under control.

Seatbelts, on an AIRPLANE - why the fuck do you need seatbelts on an AIRPLANE? Shit do they have airbags? No - they are there to keep retards in their seats.

Turn off your phone - why? Are you telling me that a single cell phone can crash a plane? That is the most asinine thing I've ever heard, and they proved it wouldn't work on mythbusters. So why do I have to turn mine off and why can't I play on my PDA while we taxi and take off or land? Because people are stupid.

Boarding - why does every moron that sits in the front of the plane stand at the beginning of the line so everyone has to wait behind them? Because most people are just stupid cows, waddling stupidly through life.

I'll talk more about my feelings about coming home to Regina in future blogs - I have to go to bed now. Cheers.

Improv and Headshots

Well, here I am, writing a blog about improv. Finally, Mike is performing, you might be thinking... Nope. It's about seeing a show. At least it's a step in the right direction you might be thinking... Nope. I just spectated some improv that was merely mediocre.


If you are form the area, you might be aware of the show I saw this Monday night, but I won't be naming names because I don't think that will help me performing on stage... There are some things an improviser sees in a show that audiences see but can't articulate - hesitation, waffling, blocking, corpsing, and not committing to a scene. These are things a seasoned improviser can't help but see and they overshadow the fun of the show completely. There is nothing more heart wrenching than watching a show done by obviously talented people, an ensemble nonetheless, that just doesn't click because people are either lazy, or so comfortable in their mediocrity that their rust so becomes their infrastructure. Harsh.


That said I want to play, and I want to play now. It sure is strange knowing that you can just step in and play their game as well, if not better than them even though you aren't playing regularly. I have a great group of improvisers to than for that - you don't know what you have until it's gone right. I can't wait to make some art in a couple weeks.


Also, I'm taking orders for headshots as of right now. $100 gets you photos on a DVD and $100 gets you two finished images (touch-ups and layout) in both B&W & colour. Let me know soon, I'm filling up rapidly.

I am a tool.

Well, I recently bought a thermos for taking delicious coffee to work in the morning on my scooter. I admit that I have been lazy with it because I have been going to the Starbucks that just opened by work, but - I needed the thermos to take the coffee back to work. The intent was however, to bring it from home. Anyway...

Today was the day I was going to make the switch to home coffee, and I was going to do it by grinding the absolutely last bit of fresh Costa Rican coffee I had. The delicious, dark, aromatic coffee was going to wake me up tomorrow morning because the coffee maker has a programming function. I set the clock, set the program and turned it on and headed to brush my teeth.

I came back 3 minutes later, and the pot was brewing. It turned it ON! I am a total dumbass! Now I have used up my last cache of delicious Costa Rican coffee on a total brainless move. I can't even drink it because it will obviously keep me up all night, and also, I've already brushed my teeth.

So there you have it. Costa Rica was amazing and all I have left is a clay pot, 4 cigars and a whole pile of photos. Which incidentally, can be seen at: www.mikefly.ca/costarica if you feel so inclined. I'm going to smell my coffee now. Goodnight.

X-again?

Working on weekends is crazy. I don't like doing it. I spend enough time working during the week. I hope Rob and Dionne are excited that I'm coming for the wedding because it's killing my weekend mojo. I still have not figured out what to get them for a present. There are so many different options out there but none seem to work because they are headed to Australia for a year. If anyone out there has any suggestions, please let me know because I'm hurting.


Either way, I'm going to see Xmen again tomorrow because I want to see it in over-sized majestic glory (with my glasses). That's it - ciao for now.

Xmen Review

So... The Last Stand they call it... There is so much fanboy craziness out there right now over this movie that it was really hard to forget what they had written while walking into the movie. But, I think I did okay... The only thing I regret was forgetting my glasses at home - stupid move on my part - but they aren't that strong, so I'm okay with it.



As for the film itself, I enjoyed it. I thought it was a an adequate follow-up to the previous films and that it was grandiose enough to qualify as a final chapter to the trilogy. The effects were great and I was happy enough to see the Xmen form a team and fight. It was good.



Let's be strait though, the other two Xmen films weren't fantastic, they were just good. So that makes the trilogy good, nothing more. 'Nuff said. I suggest you see it this weekend if you are excited to see it (I was) because the fans will be there and you will be able to get the vibe of a crowd that's been really pumped to see it (they were). It makes a big difference to the theatre experience I think.



Let's hope Superman is as good as it looks.

Fix-em ups & math

Today I took the scooter to the Vespa shop so they could fix a piece of detailing that was put together poorly and they did. Nice guys. I also got the second helmet and am ready to double-scoot - booyeah!

It felt really good putting 5.5 liters of gas into the bile and working out the mileage at 34km/L that's roughly 72 miles per gallon. Sweet. And cheap, until you factor in the cost of 2-stroke engine oil at $15 per liter. I just wonder how much oil it's actually going to use... Either way, the scooter TOTALLY KICKS ASS! And, I highly recommend everyone gets one - seriously, I do. But until then, free double scoots for all.

X-men tomorrow... here's hoping it doesn't suck.

It's here!

I finally picked up my 2nd helmet - sweet deal! I can now double people. sexy.

Lord of Catan and LOST

Well, there you have it, I am the LORD OF CATAN after an exciting battle this evening and then I am truly LOST. What an evening on ups and ups.


Now I'm not a LOST junkie like some out there, but I will succumb to the hysteria because the show is that good - It, like CSI is pretty much perfect television. However, LOST succeeds on a level that CSI could never achieve - I actually care about every little detail. Hum. I guess I'll have to wait until October to get my fix now.


Forr those that do not understand the CATAN reference, you need to trust me on this... Go and secure yourself a copy of "Settlers of Catan". It's a German board game that is superior to risk and far more enjoyable for group play because it doesn't take up to 5 hours and no one is eliminated. Trust me. I know what I am talking about. Buy Settlers and play it, for otherwise, you will never take my prestigious title away.

I AM LORD OF CATAN!

The video is in the myspace world - sorry.

So, the crow attacked me again. This time I caught the whole incident on video - terrible, shaky video. It's posted - no worries. Also, I sound like a little kid when I giggle - I like to think it's endearing...



So here's my deal with crows. Some of you may have heard this already, but for those that haven't... A crow, or any member of the crow family (magpies, blue jays...) can be taught to speak in the same manner as a parrot. This is confirmed by my own father that had a pet crow he and his brother Doug stole from a nest as kids. They named it Jake and it ate cat food. It would come back year after year (they released it in the fall) to nest nearby their house.



My plan is to one day, raise a whole barn full of crows all at once, teaching them all to say only one thing, "today will be your last" and then I want to let them go. Could you imagine how freaky it would be if a whole murder of crows sitting in a tree started croaking "toady will be your last" as you walked by. People would freak right out. And I think it would make them think about living life to the fullest - plus it would be super funny.



That's it. Stupid crows. I hope I don't get the bird flu, this time he got me with both claws, raked my head a bit. I guess I deserved it.

Victoria Day - Settlers of Catan

Well, two games of Settlers of Catan later, it appears my lordship has ended. I highly recommend the game, it's really fun. Seafarers, the expansion pack I bought, is lots of fun. Boats and such. I'm really excited to try it with the Cities and Knights expansion set as well. Lots of fun - I hope.



I'm excited to try scooting out on the wet streets, as crazy as that sounds. I'm not talking torrential rains, I'm talking moisture - I want to see how I fare and how the bike does. We'll see - tomorrow is supposed to be rainy in the afternoon - I'll be careful. No worries.



But, I have some exciting shit to do (not really) so I'll post more later (probably not). Happy Victoria Day.

Victoria Day Eve

Well, the May long weekend may not be the most spectacular weather weekend of the year here in Vancouver, but it most certainly has been tolerable. I went out to hit the highway, so to speak, and I managed to put over 60km on my scooter today. The good news: only used a 1/3 of a tank and I got it up to 82km/h. I also managed to find a cheap pair of leather gloves at sears, the bad news - the gloves are throwing me off my game. I need to get used to them - I will.


I just got home from the Sunday Service at wink, it was good to see the show - hung out with Jesse and with Cam, it was good to see them again, good guys all around. Also we ate dinner at the BO KAHN - and it was super fuckin' sweet. My favorite restaurant ever! I know there are people out there that don't like it, but they are obviously strange.


Anyhow - I'm off to bed after Ali G is over - cheers all, may your celebration for Queen Victoria be full of surprise and excitement. Read some Shakespeare for God's sake.

Thumbsuckers unite

Well, the long weekend is certainly going to be cloudy here in Vancouver. I was really hoping (as was everyone else) that it would be super sunny and such - this is going to hamper my scooting and such. Oh well. What can you do.



I am looking after the landlord's cats while they are off having fun in the world, I must say, the kitten is really needy when it comes to attention - it kind of drives me nuts. But, maybe it's good for me. I don't really understand how to make that separation of work and life I guess (that echoes from blogs of the past and words from girls mouths - doesn't it?). Maybe Ill get a movie and watch it whilst stroking the kitty tonight. Oh innuendo...



Also, saw THUMBSUCKER last night, it was really well done. I was totally drawn in to the story because the characters were so full and real. Even Keanu did well - he sure plays a brain dead stoner well. I recommend the film to almost anyone that had a childhood. Esp. you Tat.



I may not have the sun on my side, but I will have sunny-side-up eggs on my side. I'm off to breaky. Chat again later.

Last Night's News

So, today was adventurous - 2 big happenings, well, 3 really.

..1 - The new Starbucks opened by City TV - SWEET! I have been waiting for good coffee in the morning for a long time now and it is finally here! yay! This brings me to...



..2 - I had a crow encounter today. I was walking back to work this morning at 8 am from the new Starbucks, and was all of a sudden, out of the blue, hit in the head, by a crow. I felt it smack into me, soft at first, then legs. I turned into it as it was hitting me and I looked right into his black eye and he continued to fly away. It was so bizarre - that has never happened before to me. It was really strange.



..3 - I saw The Da Vinci Code tonight. Ron Howard is a douche bag with way too many connections. The man gets opportunities that no one else does because of them i think another director would have made a better film, but what can you say, the road map was drawn pretty clearly for him. He just had to colour without crossing the lines - he just always chooses the safest pallet he can - mostly taupes.



The scooter is fantastic - I have a photo posted below. I think it sums up the whole experience nicely. More pics to follow as the weekend of scooting progresses. Be well all.

Watch out ladies!

Blog 20 - 20!

I named my scooter today officially. Jayden told me I wasn't allowed to name it anything remotely cool. He said no to "thunder-awesome" and "lazer-ninja" in favour of names like "flower cycle" or "gay-mobile". I wrestled for hours with different options as I scooted about - I put 50km on it last night (1/3 of a tank, oh yes) and the name came to me on 26th & main on the left turn north. My scooter is officially "Jeremy" - simple and yet just enough in the homosexual overtones that Jayden required. It allows for many awkward moments when I tell people that I just rode Jeremy for hours, etc...

I think I'll pack a book and head to the park on Saturday to relax. I re-bought "The Rebel Sell", the book I lost in Costa Rica - i even found the page I had gotten to. It will be nice.

But for now, I have to go to watch LOST - it's an important part of Wednesday.

my blog can hit the bar in BC, SK & ON

The scooter is SUPER AWESOME! I love it. I had the stupidest smile plastered on my face all night while I drove it. It seems to fit really nicely with me - I like it a lot.

I can't wait to get another helmet so I can go on adventures with people. I imagine riding with a passenger will still take some getting used to with the different weight distribution, but I'm sure I'll adjust.

I am pretty excited to scoot around this weekend, the longest of weekends, and really enjoy the scenery and such. It feels nice to have an outlet to get me to an inlet, or a beach. Yay.

the blog is a legal adult

I BOUGHT A SCOOTER

That's right, a 2005 Aprilia Scarabeo - midnight blue. Hot! Hot! Hot! I will be scooting about all night tomorrow and no one will be able to stop me! Yay! Pics should be up tomorrow. And, I got it for $1024 cheaper than the other place! I am SO happy I shopped around.



That's the news! Serious, I'm excited.

Driver’s license blog

Well, finally a real night out. And I say that because I haven't "gone out" in that drunken 20-year-old kinda way. It starts with a lazy friday work-day, that ends a little early to watch the Oilers beat San Jose (hockey - the stupidest and most cliché of Canadiana). The guys from work seem to think I don't drink, that I'm a pale vegetarian strait-edge nerd type. Well, I stun them all with my Double G&Ts. They are aghast. But I show them, I drink a few and keep pace with their pints of cheap beer.

Then we adjourn to play poker right after one of the women from work joins us, a bad omen for me because she beats me out of third place and I lose my "pat on the back" part of the pot to a rogue ace that shows up to pair with hers on the river - my pocket kings do nothing to win. Lame. Good times though.

At this point we are an hour late for our meet up with the Leo Awards gang. As you may have guessed, we did not win, which is too bad. I was really gunning for Brian, he's really good at what he does. I guess Street Cents for Soccer Moms was just too appealing.

Then it was off to the Urban Well, I've never been, but I hear the improv is alright. Apparently, it is quite the night club on the weekend. It was interesting. Lots of 20-somethings parting it up, playing the game. I wish I had a camera, I really enjoyed just watching people interacting. People are pretty funny when they are drunk. It's so strange to see the collective group mentality of everyone trying to "have a good time", agreeing to get all gunned up for the sake of lubricating the social atmosphere. It's like everyone saying "if we all take stupid pills, we'll all be smart - and more attractive".

Moral of the story is - I haven't had over 14 ounces of alcohol in me in a long time, though it was spread over about 6 hours, and it was liberating. I don't think it will happen for a while, but it was fun. So there you have it - party on.

BIG NEWS

I test-rode a scooter today, and I loved it. I will buy one in the next week. I have made up my mind. I want one, I can use one, and I will get one. I am an adult, and I can do what I want. I will soon be ridding on a 50cc Scarabeo - which, will be awesome.

Kick ass.

fifteen blogs along

Look at how pro-active I seem to bee with my blogging. I'm writing shit twice in one day. booyeah!

I'm off for another crazy evening with the gang from work - hopefully this one won't degrade into standing around and judging people. I mean, that is fun and all, it's just been pointed out to me in the past that I seem to do it too often. I guess I'm a dink.

The Toronto Tournament of Wonders is on right now and I really wish I was there. I think I need to start doing more of what I like and less of what I don't like. That seems to be quite a novel idea and it fills my heart with joy.

Maybe I'll try calling some friends up and going to a movie this weekend, or maybe I'll go scooter shopping tomorrow. I could use a scooter, right? Though I am divided on the scooter VS electric bike line because of the environmental concerns and such. We'll see.

The fire alarm at work just started, so I have to run. Cheers.

FOLLWO UP:
No fire, just a drill, at 4pm on friday. Lame.

blog 14

So it's a little late. So what. What's 8 hours in the grand scheme of things.

Last night I met some of my Landlord's work colleagues, they seemed like nice people and they are working to figure out how to kill cancer. They recognized me from an improv show I did in may of last year here in Vancouver. How's that for memory. Her really enjoyed the show, so I invited him to the festival. He seems to want to become a fan. He's also from Romania. Wow.

I also ate a new product from the Yves line - they were "souvlaki-style skewers" and I must say, I don't remember Souvlaki, but I remember the texture of meat - this was it. How interesting. They were even BBQ'd - mmm. Though thee lack of tatziki sauce was commented on by the meat-eaters, but I was quite happy with a good Dijon.

Tonight, 969 is up for a LEO Award - the Vancouver equivalent of the Geminis, which is the Canadian equivalent of the Emmy's. We're up for 2 awards - 1 for a Host, Brian Adler (also a producer), who is probably the most professional host I've worked with in my time in TV - and the 2nd the overall Lifestyle Programming award. We are up against some strong competition, that I have never heard of. but, to give you an idea, Street Cents for Soccer Moms (The Shopping Bags). The good news is that a poker game will take place for those not attending the awards ceremony. - This time, I win!

Also, I will probably see Art School Confidential this weekend, and I got my taxes in - finally - and it looks like I will be getting $ back, only because I took extra off my CBC cheque this last year and bought my laptop. That's it - see y'all tonight after the awards.

13

Thirteen is supposed to be an unluck number. I think it's just a number. There you have it.

I just watched LOST and I have to say, it's super good. I really want to watch them all, but can't seem to get the time and the enrgy to commit - I haven't seen the first season and really don't want to invest all the energy.

I saw a trailer on apple.com today for a french movie called District B13. It's by the producers of ONG BAK, which was super awesome. I'm not sure if Tony Jaa is involved, but I hope so - he's super awesome. He doesn't do the wires or any of that. Crazy stuff.

Anyway, I'm off to bed - hopefully to dream of wonderful things.

One Dozen Blogs...

Well, I made it past the hump, I guess I can now start putting a second bean into each egg cup...

I ate pizza for the first time in a while, and I must say, it is a marvel of food-technology. You eat the plate. Delicious. I just wish I could enjoy cheese - I still think it would try to crawl out of me I if did eat it.

Today I was on the set of Robson Arms, the underrated CTV series. It's a great show that inspires me. It was super cool to check out the set and see how tight the crew is. I really like the guys and gals at Omni Films, they make good product and they seem to really create a sense of family within the production. I am excited to see how Alice I Think turns out.

I have tried to upload the trailer for 2HUMAN, the crappy movie I was in last summer, but I can't seem to figure out why it won't let me. I trimmed it up a bit - maybe that will help. It might just be too large. Waddaya gonna do. I'll keep trying, but I can't promise anything.

Off to bed, gonna sleep the shit out of the night.

bloggin' elevin'

So, here we go.

Over the Hedge, the newest of the animated, "furry animals do something wacky" genre of film rapidly establishing itself as "mediocre at best", lived up to it's pedestrian potential. If you are in the market to neither waste, nor gain anything for your time, go see it - it's probably what purgatory is like, except a little flashier. Why do I go to movies like this you ask? Well, this one was free, but that excuse only goes so far... I dunno, maybe it's because I just like to escape. Unfortunately, escaping to purgatory, is a 2 hour vacation that more or less sucks.

In house cleaning news, I started to use the dish washer. I waited 6 months to use it once out of desperation, and now I only use it. I am bad for the environment and so lazy. Yay. So, to counter act the dishwasher, I have begun to do a regular little "workout" routine every day consisting of push-ups, sit-ups, crunches and leg crunches. Hello fitness. I recently moved from 10 push-ups to 25 and I can comfortably do 35 uninterrupted full sit-ups, which everyone says are unhealthy, but I disagree. they are just movement and can only help strengthen your muscles. I don't strain, and they are controlled, which to me says ok.

I hope to be "ripped" by the end of the month, I'll keep you posted. I really wish I had a chin-up bar I could use, but unfortunately, one does not exist nearby. it would be nice to use my body's own weight as a training device.

Is it just me, or are almost all commercials totally lame? I hate most of them with a smoldering passion. Especially allergy medication commercials, or commercials for children's allergy medication, or medication commercials period. What if our country just made it illegal for any pharmaceutical company to make a profit and our federal government funded research? Medicine, science and education are all things we should agree on making a priority, but hey, that's just me looking at the bigger, more unrealistic picture.

That's all I got, Colbert is on, John's done, and I have to be ready for work tomorrow. Be ready for tales from the set of Robson Arms in the bloggy dozen. A demain.

Also, should we feel bad for David Blaine, or should we just not care. I'm in for the latter.

blog le dix

Here is blog 10. Let's start with poker...

Poker is two games. The first is a friendly social outing with the guys where beer is drank and "bonding" occurs, simple enough. The second is, in my mind exacerbated by the outrageous explosion of televised poker tournaments, a pissing contest. The poker game I played in, was both. So, way to go poker. Also, I lost.

Then we have, waiting for a cab... which apparently is an hour long event. Lame. Thanks every cab company in Vancouver - you all suck.

Then going to the bar on a Saturday night. With the right people, this might be super fun, if you ever get into the bar. But when you end up waiting around in line forever, the potential of a good time is hampered severely. So, even if you go out with good people, you end up settling into a pattern of non-excitedness that leads to judging the other patrons - which is compounded by your sobriety of course.

After a rousing game of "who do you not want to be" and "look at that drunk retard", we decided to call it quits, leaving one of the party behind to "be the nice guy" and hit on a girl that was confident he could take home. I wonder how that story ended - I'll find out tomorrow I guess.

After meeting up with the group that made it into the expensive and busy bar we had no intention of waiting around in line in the rain for, for all but 30 seconds, I headed home to sleep. Tired and happy I didn't spend more than $10 on a drink. I wish I had it in me to be a bar star. No, wait, I don't. Getting smashed and acting like a dumb-ass is stupid. And also sad. But then again, I ended up at home, watching the tail end of an SNL rerun before sleeping alone, so what do I know...

That's all I've got right now. Stay tuned this week for: taxes, house cleaning, improv fest news, bike ridding and push-ups.

B: LOG 9

Mission: Impossible 3... It sure felt good to be all excited about going to see a movie again. It was great sitting in a fairly packed theatre on a Friday afternoon with a bunch of other people just as excited as I was.

For someone that enjoys the movie theatre experience, I highly recommend going to movies on the opening weekends - you have to get there early to get good seats, and you have to deal with lots of people, but those are the showings that movie fans go to - people genuinely excited about the experience of the film. That makes for a great crowd.

The film itself meet my expectations. The M:I franchise has never really been one of my favorites. To me it's essentially action pornography - implausible, unrealistic and contrived - but fun to watch and it sure as heck gets you in the mood to "action" something. I most definitely found myself thumping the theme song in my head as I walked to the sky train after, just waiting to have to dive out of the way of some horrible traffic accident or having to chasse after some purse snatcher for like 10 blocks...

I think that feeling was definitely parlayed by the realization 1/2 way through the film that I had my glasses in my backpack and that I wasn't wearing them - stupid me - the movie was so much crisper and so much more wonderfully shot than I had thought. That's the lesson that has been burned into my head now - never, ever, watch a film without my glasses again.

Some review eh? Just go see the movie. Put aside your Tom Cruise uneasiness, the man still does what he does best in M:I 3 - there is no scientology, no Katie Holms and no gay rumors, there's just Ethan trying his damndest to get Owen, that's it. It's worth 10 bucks to see it in a theatre with 200 other people all gasping at the same time.

Blog nine.

blog seven

So here we are. Seven, the lucky number... The Vancouver International Improv Festival is about to announce the festival ensemble, and I'm choked that I can't be a part of it. I'd really like to, but I'm stuck at work for the week. Which blows. But, on the other hand, it will be nice to hang out with everyone in the evening and check out the shows. It will just be difficult to not be a part of the creative process. But, waddaya gonna do?

It will be a chance to see a girl I dated in high school for the first time since I was 17. That will be cool. It's always interesting meeting people from your past. I hope she's well.

As for calling the girl... I opted out because we connected for a bit on msn and that felt like it was a nice, safe connection. It wasn't the same as talking directly, but it was a good starting point. I hope she is alright. I hope the friends she has are a positive influence, because she is relying on them right now. I know lots of guys with bad advice, and even worse coping mechanisms, I assume the same goes for women. We'll talk this weekend I predict.

Also, poker game coming up this weekend - I don't want to get cocky, but I think I'm going to win based on my overconfidence and plain old good looks and charm. But it's time for the Daily Show, night all.

Blog 6

So, 6 blogs in and nothing has happened. No minor internet celebrity, no crazed emails, well except one, all in all, quite uneventful. In fact, I'm not even sure if anyone actually reads these things. I think I could write just about anything here and no one will care. That's fine I guess.

I've been flip-flopping between calling the girl and not all day. It totally sucks to be in this position. I really want to call her, comfort her and tell her it's going to be alright. There is a lot of "suck it up" factor in that line of thinking for me because it's really hard to pick up the phone and make that call. I'm willing to suck it up and deal with how that's going to make me feel, and it will suck, to make her feel better.

But, is that what she needs? That's the question. And, that's the ultimate question. I have no idea how to proceed here. There's no advice people can give for someone that isn't generic and useless. I value her more than that as a person, a wonderful person.

Oh well, I'll just deal with it I guess. I think tomorrow is a good day to call - it still leaves her Friday to teach and be distracted. I think waiting for the weekend is a bad idea - an idle mind dwells and stews, and that's not what anyone needs, though I imagine we're both in for that. Hum.

BLOG 5

Well, another entry down the hatch. It's that simple - you just take 3 minutes and write. Pretty simple.

Today was work as usual. I have to go out and shoot a sketch show and then take some time off work tomorrow, which will be nice I guess as I have to catch up on some other work. I am pretty excited bout going tot his show tonight though, I'm secretly hoping it will kindle some nerves in me that will drive me like a carriage of wild horses into shooting more indie stuff.

I really want to pick up my camera again and start snapping away. I'd like to try some more model based photography. But it's kinda weird to find someone for that. Who do you ask, and how do you ask... It's all awkward. Oh well, I don't have a lot of time right now anyway...

Well, I'm leaving work now to head home and eat, then do more work. Yay. hum.

The 4th blog.

Just when you think you've felt the full spectrum of emotion life throws at you, you see a futurama you've never seen before. Poor metaphor, maybe, but the point is till there. It's been an introspective week. Apparently, I have a lot to learn about myself and how I deal with the world around me. I'm not so much a receptor as an unfocused conductor. I need to be more in touch with what's around me - I'm pretty detached.

On the weekend, i saw 2 consecutive movies, something I haven't done in a while, I also paid for both of them - too depressed to try and sneak into the second. Thank You For Smoking and Brick. I highly recommend Brick, it was super good. it went a 1000 mph and I was totally captured by it's style and the script. It was superbly put together and overall a fantastic film experience. It moves quickly, so you might not want to drink a big soda at the theatre, because what you miss in the pee break will not be recap-able.

Thank You For Smoking was a great satire and just the kind of "mazda miada" film I needed to get my mind off of things. It was bright, fun, well crafted and quite fun to sit back and enjoy. It was dark satire, but not gloomy, a nice treat. Next week M:I 3 comes out, and Im sure I'll be there for the premiere. Until, I won't have time for more films.

Grrr. There's that echo again.

The third blog.

Wow - what a phone call. I just got off the phone with the girl and... what can I say, I feel like the biggest dink in the world. How can anyone make someone feel like complete shit and feel good about it - I don't think it's possible.

It's so difficult right now to keep perspective. I'm on really shaky ground, rethinking and going over things in my head, over and over. I'm not used to this kind of feeling. Like I'm purposefully telling myself to be cold. I don't want to be, but it seems like the only way to make things as easy as possible. Wadding into the grey seems like a really slippery slope., but it's hard to look down into the pit and see someone at the bottom, wading in the white while you stand on the black, looking back up, wanting nothing more for me to materialize in the milk with them...

That takes a level of self control I wasn't sure I had. Now though, I question whether or not it's doing irreparable harm to my own emotions. Will I see this as easy now? Will it start to become reflex? Or is it already impulse? thank god I know and believe that impulse can be trained. I have to get back into that - I'm getting rusty. I'm relying on reflexes that are not reliable - they are unpredictable, or rather, are too predictable.

I need to find a way exact some change, and I need it soon. This week I'll start looking. Maybe Karate, or a class, or just a gym membership will help. I should just go for a bike ride. But I have too much work to do. too much work to do. That seems to be a mantra, that I am growing to dislike more and more.

It's time for some changes. That's that.

The second Blog entry.

Well, here is is, the second entry. It's a relationship entry... what can I say... I just ended a relationship - it was a long distance relationship. It started that way and proved to be, in the end, too much distance for things to grow properly. It's unfortunate. The girl is a great person, and things were dgood when we were together, but the time apart proved to be too much. Part of me is very upset about the situation, but it's a lot smaller than the part of me that's awere this is the best decision for both of us - despite her now, "not as devoted to the idea" attitude.

Unfortunately, it's the way it has to be. Now I guess I just have to live with the decision, be firm, and live on. I just hope she can do so too - we're built differently, her and I. she much more in tune with her emotions, and she rides the peaks ad valleys of them much more than I. Once it sinks in and she gets the chance to bury herself in work, I'm sure she'll feel much better. I really hate making her feel this way, but it has to happen, even if it hurts us both.

The first blog entry.

This is officially my first blog entry. why do I need a blog? I dont know, it just seems like the thing to do. That's the type of unfocussed and non-committal blog entry that certainly sparks people's interest. I'll warn any readers right now that this blog will be honest and real and will contain a lot of sarcasm. This is generally difficult to cipher in written text, but fuck it, I don't care. If you don't get it, then I don't really care. Also, i'm not going to spell or grammar check anything, and if you don't like it, you can also eat a dingleberry.